


Crossroads

by shesgottheknife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x10 spoilers, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesgottheknife/pseuds/shesgottheknife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley revisits some of his most memorable crossroads in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroads

Here I am, yet again. It's been awhile since I've been able to make a decision on my own, out of the chains and traps of the Winchesters. I raise my eyebrows and take a breath.

What an odd choice of location to visit...a crossroads for me. This was where I decided to partner with the angel. One of many decisions that changed the course of my life. I stood where I had all those years ago, offering what was supposed to be a simple business transaction.

_How was I supposed to know it would change my life forever?_

I close my eyes and with another snap I'm in my lab.

It started with a threat...

_I'm still an angel...and I will bury you._

He disappeared for a few hours, coming back later to apologize. Naturally, I wound him up and I ended up against the wall again. This time, I raised my hand, pulled him close and kissed him. The sexual tension was unbearable between us right from the start, anyway...

He pulled away, looking halfway disgusted, the other half turned on, and it went from there.

I look around the lab with a smirk, another crossroads...

The next place I visit is the place only we know. It's far, far north, no human has ever set foot here, it's far too cold. The snow is untouched and the stars are so bright against the night sky, words don't do it justice.

It's here I told the angel I loved him for the first time as we lie next to one another, looking at the northern lights.

He called me a fool, confused, and a miracle.

At this particular crossroads, I should have ran, but I didn't. I clutched at the angel -- my angel and begged him to stay.

**I should've known he wouldn't be kept.**

I'm in the cabin now, the place he offered me the honey...the place where his mind was fractured, yet completely free--probably for the first time ever.

Meg was there and that was... _unpleasant._

So I left...worried tremendously for the fate of him with that... _bitch._

So many different choices I could've made, but I saved the one I should've made then, for the time I'd watch the light leave her eyes under the black sky--much later...

I'll never forget the way Castiel looked at me when he mentioned renegotiating our deal. The way I chose to flee instead of fight him in his maniacal state. He was always powerful, he could smite me at any moment. I think that's why I was initially attracted to him.

I was... **bored.**

But the danger that comes from being around angel...it was a rush...

I didn't mean to fall for him.

And fall I did.

_**Hard.** _

A snap and I'm in the old house where I found him in the circle of holy fire.

Talking too close was just our way.

I _What are you, Castiel?_

But he didn't have an answer--he didn't know.

An angel, gallivanting around with a demon, trying to become the new God, trying to make up for the death and destruction caused in his wake...

I think he's scared...he's always been scared of me...of loving a demon.

I'm inside the abandoned church where Rocky and Bullwinkle brought me the day Heaven fell. Moose dug into my deepest psyche, but I held it together...for the most part. I didn't let it slip that the one being I wanted to be loved by was an angel who apparently loathed me.

_I just want to be loved..._

A heavy sigh and a snap and I'm standing now on the docks, watching my angel try and apparently fail at comforting the Moose.

I don't know how to approach my former lover anymore...he's different...so am I, I suppose...there's a million and one things I should be doing as opposed to watching him from the shadows.

I should probably get to that...

But I'm not giving up on us, kitten. I'll never give up on us.


End file.
